A Note On...Writing That Is Personal

Dean Nelson, in his familiar position interviewing guests
at the annual Writer's Symposium by the Sea.

Another in the "A Note On..." series in which I ask writers I know or hope to know to blog about lessons they've learned about writing, the creative life, or just general topics they have an interesting insight into. Today's comes from my prolific friend and colleague Dean Nelson. The question at hand: are our lives interesting enough to write about? 

In the first few sessions of the Creative Nonfiction class I teach, I generally hear observations from students that they haven’t lived very interesting lives yet, so they don’t really have much to say.  I don’t try to dissuade them from that idea overtly. They might even be right. But my guess is that that their lives are plenty interesting, and others would love to read a well-crafted story from them. Wasn’t it Flannery O’Connor who said that anyone who had survived childhood has plenty to write about?

So I don’t force it. We just read things I hope will connect with them deeply. There is the story from the LA Times where the college girl describes the most difficult and easiest food items to throw up when she needs to play her meal in reverse (cinnamon-raisin bagels are toughest, in her experience; mint chip ice cream the most gentle). And we read about a boy whose very conservative mom takes him to a jazz club for his 13th birthday, setting aside her view of those places in an effort to make him happy. And there is the story about the subway ride where a man fell and was as afraid as a wounded animal, and the others rallied around him. And there’s that one about the priest who assures the little boy dying of AIDS that “it will be all right,” when the priest knows it won’t be. 

Those stories usually focus on something that happened over a period of maybe an hour at the most, yet they are so well told, and they point to a bigger story, and they draw similar kinds of stories out of the students.

In recent years I have read student accounts that include: wishing for Skinny Girl respect while standing in front of one’s closet; charting her growth as a female by the kinds of hair styles she’s worn; attending the funeral of her boyfriend, and then trying to take her own life; trying to tell the girl he’s scheduled to marry that he is gay; describing a sexual assault; seeing one’s favorite band; worrying that one’s parents are getting a divorce; going to chemo treatments with one’s mom; finding out one has the breast cancer gene, and, well, you get the picture. These stories are interesting. They really happened. And they’re told in such a way that others want to read them.

I think that kind of raw, true writing comes from reading other raw, true writing, and from an atmosphere where there are no taboos, no judgment on content, but plenty of feedback on craft and storytelling. Most good nonfiction stories are true, in that the account and the facts are accurate, and are True, in that the story points to something bigger than itself, like fear, love, grace, forgiveness, guilt.

And so it matters greatly where one starts when one writes. Instead of writing about eating disorders, write about one time when you struggled with this issue. Instead of writing about racism, write about that time you were a racist. Instead of writing about God, or the American People, write about – well, you get the picture. This is all just a riff, of course on E.B. White’s advice, “Don’t write about Man. Write about a man.”

My last couple of blog posts at www.deannelson.net try to do this. They have also appeared on Donald Miller’s Storyline blog. The bigger the issue, the smaller the focus. I don’t know who said that. But I’ve repeated it often enough to make it mine.

I get a lot of examples in the New York Times Sunday Magazine, on the last page, called “Lives.” Check them out. You’ll see specific stories about people you don’t know, and they will make you start looking at incidents in your own life where you’ll say, “I should write about that.”

Yes, you should. They’ll be interesting. 

Dean Nelson directs the annual Writer’s Symposium By The Sea, writes occasionally for the New York Times, and teaches at Point Loma Nazarene University.